I remember when I was a kid, my mom read all of these childhood development books so that she could track the benchmarks of my and my brother’s progression.
The books knew whether I was a “normal” kid, or whether I was developing into someone who needed a little more care. Luckily, or not so luckily, the books deemed me normal, so the literature stopped. We stopped knowing what I should do next, what my interests should be. I was handed, in the theoretical sense, a blank book to fill with my own stages of development.
I’m 21, legally an adult, but, mentally somewhere in limbo. Consistently, I wonder where my head is “supposed to be.” I wish I had a book to tell me that what I was doing, thinking, and feeling, is normal. At this age, no one cares to track your development, especially when you’ve chosen the college route. You become the class of people that are supposed to be on the “right” path.
As this is my last year in undergrad, I’m coming to a fork; and, in my mind there are an abundance of ways to fail, but also an enormous amount of ways to succeed…then there’s also this strong desire to just ball up and freeze time. I think a lot of these emotions stem from my internal pull towards a life so different than the one my parents gave me. To be honest,it’s terrifying to think that in less than I year, I get to try out my wings and will either soar or fall–and that’s pretty scary. And, people, I have never been one to live life in fear, I have always been ready for adventure…but at this moment, I’m feeling pretty apprehensive about the whole thing (aka adulthood).
I hope this is making sense and that someone, who’s 21, 31, 41, or 51 can relate to these feeling of uncertainty, angst, but excitement for and about their life.
I want to start a dialogue with you all about acting your age and what that means to you.