college, lifestyle
Comments 8

Acting My Age.

I remember when I was a kid, my mom read all of these childhood development books so that she could track the benchmarks of my and my brother’s progression. 

The books knew whether I was a “normal” kid, or whether I was developing into someone who needed a little more care. Luckily, or not so luckily, the books deemed me normal, so the literature stopped. We stopped knowing what I should do next, what my interests should be.  I was handed, in the theoretical sense, a blank book to fill with my own stages of development.

I’m 21, legally an adult, but, mentally somewhere in limbo. Consistently, I wonder where my head is “supposed to be.” I wish I had a book to tell me that what I was doing, thinking, and feeling, is normal. At this age, no one cares to track your development, especially when you’ve chosen the college route. You become the class of  people that are supposed to be on the “right” path.

As this is my last year in undergrad, I’m coming to a fork; and, in my mind there are an abundance of ways to fail, but also an enormous amount of ways to succeed…then there’s also this strong desire to just ball up and freeze time. I think a lot of these emotions stem from my internal pull towards a life so different than the one my parents gave me. To be honest,it’s terrifying to think that in less than I year, I get to try out my wings and will either soar or fall–and that’s pretty scary. And, people, I have never been one to live life in fear, I have always been ready for adventure…but at this moment, I’m feeling pretty apprehensive about the whole thing (aka adulthood).

I hope this is making sense and that someone, who’s 21, 31, 41, or 51  can relate to these feeling of uncertainty, angst, but excitement for and about their life.

I want to start a dialogue with you all about acting your age and what that means to you.

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8 Comments

  1. trE says

    I am 35. I can assure you that when I was 21, I was a bit anxious as well. However, I’d been on my own since I was 18. I pretty much was the kid who couldn’t wait to grow up so that I could move out. When I turned 18, college answered and I left, eager to begin a life I didn’t know. I also assure you that I did a lot of worrying in my 20s and that’s normal. You’re at an age where life is about to pull you into a place you’ve never been and you have every right to somewhat fear what lies ahead. Now that I’m older, and with each passing day, I am grateful for my past experiences; the fear, the anxiety, the unfamiliarity of the world and I’m still a work in progress. Whenever I feel like I may be overwhelmed by life’s challenges, I sit back, drink in the peace around me, and take my cousin’s advice on taking life 15 minutes at a time. Your age doesn’t define you. What you do with the time you’re given and how you work towards becoming a better you is far more important. Welcome to the age of growth.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That was beautiful, and so very honest. Thank you for being transparent with me and sharing the tidbit about taking life 15 minutes at a time.
      One thing I love about this space, and blogging in general, is that you get to share life’s joys & struggles with people all over the world in all different life stages. And there’s this exchange of insights and truths…and that is unbelievably powerful.

      Liked by 1 person

      • trE says

        You’re very welcome. Life is the forever teacher. Good luck on your journey. Thank you very much for sharing.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m twenty one but I still feel like I’m not yet ready for all the responsibilities adulthood has. I’m afraid and the same exact words, I feel like I’m in a limbo.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I just turned 25, I’m here to tell you that your feelings are as normal as they come. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have everything mapped out, but I’m hear to tell you to have a general plan, and follow opportunity. If something seems unbearable than, it might not be for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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